That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
