I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
