Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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