I think im going to throw up on grandma
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So much rum. So many feels.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
