it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
