Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
