If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
