Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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