My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
