She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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