Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
