i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
