the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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