I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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