He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
