Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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