you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
