IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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