some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
