I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
