1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
