Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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