Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
