Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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