i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
