Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
