Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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