youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
