Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
