He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
