why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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