Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
