I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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