nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
