Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I could fuck to npr.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
