My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
