Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
