Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
