ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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