apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
