That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
