I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
