just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
