I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
