So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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