No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
