youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
