What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
