she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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