You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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