I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
