Pants 0. Shit 1.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
