I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
